Hummus for Vampires…

Disclaimer: It’s ill-advised to eat a large amount of this hummus prior to going to your significant other’s on a Saturday night and trying to have a sweet and romantic evening, sorry.


It’s sad to realize that all the “conveniences” of the processed food world have trained our taste buds into thinking that food should taste overly salted, sweetened, genetically modified…oy, I’m getting emotional just typing about it.

There are most definitely food shortcuts that have been helpful & don’t drastically ruin the integrity of the product or it’s nutritional value, ie. canned beans vs. soaking beans, garlic presses (don’t judge), and the entire food bar at Whole Foods. Although too often we rely on the store-bought fast versions of things to fill our tummies with. Before you know it you’re confusing that package of Easy Mac with the REAL KRAFT BLUE BOX STUFF! Wait…let me try that again, before you know it you’re confusing that jar of tomato sauce for your Italian grandmother’s REAL DEAL GRAVY!

I always deem weekends or days off to be the time where you do those “inconvenient” things in your kitchen that you always want to do, but rarely have time or motivation to actually do.

On those days where you’re rested, somewhat bored, and moderately motivated there is nothing better than listening to a great podcast, lighting some candles, drinking a glass (or 4) of this, and cooking your day away; having a feline friend with you is also nice…wow the line between my actual life and a Portlandia episode is really getting thin…


In my rooted/homemade/PacificNorthwestern/ “oh wow” endeavor I decided to make hummus, and not just make hummus, I DID IT ALL! (except for soaking the beans, because as mentioned prior, I just…don’t do that). I roasted my own garlic, grinded my own seeds, and even made my own tahini!

1/2 tsp. cumin seeds, could also substitute 1 tsp. ground cumin
1/2 cup leeks, sliced finely
1/2 cup green onions, chopped
3-4 cloves of garlic, preferably roasted
1/4 cup shallots, chopped
2 cups of cooked chickpeas (roughly one 14oz. can)
1/2 cup of tahini paste, preferably homemade
3 Tbs. of lemon juice, freshly squeezed
1/4 cup of drained chickpea cooking stock (the juice that they’re hanging out in when canned)
2-3 Tbs. olive oil
Spanish paprika
Chives, finely chopped

-The garlic doesn’t have to be roasted, but it really heightens the flavor & richness of the hummus. If roasting the garlic, preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Remove the majority of the outer-wrapping of the head of garlic, should have at least 6 cloves depending on size. Set the head on a small sheet of aluminum foil and drizzle with 1-2 Tbs. of good olive oil. Roast in the oven for 40-45 minutes, cloves should be very soft & easily pierced with a knife when done.
-You can purchase tahini in a jar at your local grocery store, but I find that every jar I purchase goes to waste, being that I use about 3 cups of tahini per year, and it’s only when I make hummus…When I make my own, the recipe yields about 1 cup (1/2 cup for the hummus and the remainder of it I use as a dressing thinned out with some balsamic vinegar, honey, & Sriracha). Cook’s choice!
-Put your cumin seeds in the food processor, give them a few pulses. Add the leeks, green onions, roasted garlic cloves, and shallot, chop for about 1 minute or until everything is finely & evenly minced. Remove the onion-y goodness from the food processor and set aside.
-Put your chickpeas in the food processor, chop until they appear crumbly, roughly :20-:30 seconds. I enjoy my hummus more on the crunchy side, if you prefer it creamier, process the chickpeas a bit longer :45 seconds-1 minute.
-Add the tahini, lemon juice, onion-y goodness mixture, and salt. Chop for roughly :45 seconds, things should be blending together.
-Add the chickpea juice gradually (a Tbs. at a time), pulse 2-3 times with each added Tbs.
-Taste and see if more salt or lemon juice needs to be added. Drizzle in a Tbs. or 2 of good olive oil and taste again.
-Serve with a sprinkle of ground Spanish paprika and finely chopped chives!

Yield: 2.5-3 cups of hummus, depending on the texture preferred

This can be served as a dip for sliced veggies, pita, or even chips. I spread it on some yummy pumperknickle toast and topped with thinly sliced radishes and shaved carrot. The best part of making hummus is how creative you can be, and how versatile it is, you ultimately can’t mess it up!

Again this bad boy does a number to your breath & level of attractiveness; consume it in the comfort of your own home or with unwanted vampire friends.

Apologies for all the dust in my photos, either my iPhone 4S camera is just really great or my kitchen is just really dusty…



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One Comment

  1. If you’re gonna eat this, just make sure everyone you’re around eats it too, then there will be no problems with garlic overpowering the conversation 🙂 BTW, it was delicious for breakfast too.


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